Birth Chart ROAST! (EMAILED PDF)

🔥 Ziggy’s Hardcore Birth Chart ROAST 🔥
ZiggyAstroDust Analyzes Your Chart. I Roast You Into Oblivion.
 
You Think You Know Yourself? Let’s See If You Can Handle the Truth.
Most astrology readings are soft, watered-down fluff that stroke your ego. Not here. This is a full-blown, no-mercy, 40+ page roast of your entire birth chart.
ZiggyAstroDust will analyze every single degree, planet, house, and aspect with scientific precision. Then? I take that analysis and drag you for filth.
 
💥 ZiggyAstroDust does the deep chart breakdown.
💥 I roast every single placement - no exceptions.
💥 You get three personalized questions, and yes, I will roast you in my answers.
If you’re looking for a feel-good reading, click away now. If you’re ready to be emotionally obliterated by your own birth chart, keep reading.
 
🚀 What is ZiggyAstroDust?
ZiggyAstroDust is my proprietary astrology system, a powerhouse that analyzes every degree, planet, and house with my personal research (yes, MY research- you won’t find this anywhere else).
 
🔮 ZiggyAstroDust goes deep. Most astrologers ignore degree analysis, which is why their readings feel basic and incomplete. I don’t do basic.

🤖 This is NOT AI-generated. AI can’t do what I do. This system is built on years of my own research and client readings.

🎤 I personally roast you in my responses, using AI-assisted voice-to-text.
ZiggyAstroDust does the hardcore analysis, but when it comes to your three personalized questions, I take over. I speak my responses so you get raw, unfiltered, and painfully accurate roasts straight from my brain to your ears.
 
📜 What You Get in This Reading
✔ A Full Birth Chart Analysis With a Savage Twist. ZiggyAstroDust breaks down every detail of your chart while I rip apart each placement with surgical precision and brutal honesty.
✔ Degree-Specific Interpretations. Every planet, every house, every degree. No sugarcoating, only deep, cutting analysis.
✔ ALL Aspects & Placements Analyzed. From conjunctions to squares, ZiggyAstroDust exposes your weaknesses while I make sure you never forget them.
✔ Three Personalized Questions Answered (and Roasted). You ask, I answer. And I do it with absolutely no mercy.
✔ A Report You’ll Keep Forever (or Burn in Shame). This isn’t a quick read. Print it, bind it, frame it. Hell, cry over it.
 
⚠️ Important Notes. Read Before Ordering!
🔹 18+ ONLY. If you’re too fragile to be roasted by your own astrology, this is NOT for you.
🔹 This is NOT a predictive reading. This is a deep analysis of your personality, strengths, and most embarrassing flaws.
🔹 You must provide your birth details at checkout. Otherwise, I’ll have to roast you for forgetting the most important step.
🔹 You get three personalized questions. Ask wisely, or prepare for the roast of a lifetime.
 
🔥 Ready to Get Absolutely Dragged by the Stars?
💫 ZiggyAstroDust analyzes your birth chart.
💫 I personally roast every placement and answer your three questions with savage precision.
💫 Drop your birth details at checkout.
🚀 I’ll take care of the rest, and by that, I mean absolutely demolish you.